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Coping With Divorce

Fantastic: enthusiastic and compassionate

Chambers & Partners, 2017

Fantastic: enthusiastic and compassionate

Chambers & Partners, 2017

Divorce is an emotional, as well as legal process. It's natural for your feelings to be all over the place following a relationship breakdown, and sometimes this can make it harder to make important decisions about your divorce.

Our divorce lawyers have helped thousands of people to get divorced, so we’ve brought together some questions we regularly hear, as well as advice on what you can do to make your divorce run as smoothly as possible.

If you can't find the answer you are looking for or want to ask more questions, please get in touch. Call us on 0345 604 4911 or contact us online and we'll get back to you as soon as possible.

How Should I Behave Towards My Former Partner?

The best way to minimise the cost, duration and stress of a divorce is to try to communicate constructively with the other person.

We understand that it can be difficult to keep your feelings in check when going through a divorce, but it's important to try to remain calm and keep a clear head when discussing the practical details of it with your former partner.

Many people use the divorce process as a way to punish their spouse, but it's important to remember that in the eyes of the law the reason for the relationship breaking down has little impact on how financial or child arrangements are decided. But while being difficult or obstructive can be very tempting, it can end up causing you more pain, costing you more in legal fees and making your divorce take longer.

Being rude, abusive or aggressive towards your former partner is counterproductive too, as it may make them less reasonable, or less willing to negotiate with you later on. It could also have longer term effects if you have children - either on your working relationship with your ex, or your children themselves.

It's also important for family members or new partners to not behave reasonably towards your former partner. Their behaviour could have an effect on how likely your ex is to negotiate.

If you're struggling to control your feelings during the divorce process, our team can put you in touch with specialist support services. It's a good idea to discuss things with a lawyer too. Having an independent person look at the situation can help give a clear perspective on what your options are and how to approach agreeing a fair divorce settlement for you both, while keeping things as civil as possible.

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How Should I Handle Hostile Behaviour Towards Me?

Divorce is a stressful and distressing experience for both partners, and sometimes people show that distress by being hostile. If your former partner is hostile towards you, or unwilling to cooperate, it's important to keep calm yourself and to seek legal advice.

Sometimes the involvement of a lawyer can help the other person calm down and be more reasonable. We have years of experience helping people to get through divorce and can provide advice on the best way to deal with your former partner. Often we refer our clients to other organisations for specialist help dealing with the emotional distress of divorce.

We can also advise you on the steps you can take if a third party, such as your spouse's new partner, or one of their family members, is aggravating the divorce process.

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What If I Don't Want To Speak To My Former Partner?

We understand that in some cases you may be too distressed to face speaking with, or even seeing your former partner. In some situations too - such as where there has been domestic violence or abuse - you might be worried for your safety.

We can support you through this difficult time. Our experienced lawyers can explain your options to you, and will be there to support you throughout the process. We can also refer you to specialist organisations that provide emotional support and help you to deal with the distress of your divorce.

It's possible to go through the divorce process without seeing your former partner, or speaking to them. If you prefer, our solicitors can communicate on your behalf, so you never have direct contact with them.

Where there is disagreement about financial or child arrangements it is possible to negotiate out of court, again without necessarily needing to see or speak to your former partner. Our specialist divorce lawyers can talk you through your options in this case - please call us on 0345 604 4911 or contact us online and we'll get back to you as soon as possible.

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What Should I Tell My Children?

Before you tell your children about your divorce, it helps to talk to your spouse and agree how you will approach the topic and when.

You may decide not to tell your children the details of your divorce, such as the reasons or financial implications.  Children need to know that they are loved and will continue to be loved by both parents, which means many parents choose to hide negative feelings from their children at this time.

During the divorce process it's natural to feel a range of emotions towards your former partner. However, you should be careful to not let that show in front of your children, and you should certainly avoid any conflict while your children are present.

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I'm Worried About Money. Will I Have Enough To Start Again?

Each case is different so it is important to get legal advice as soon as possible. This should help you to feel more settled as you can look at your options with an expert and plan your financial future. Our experienced solicitors can guide you through all your choices and will work hard to secure you the best possible result.

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Should I Tell My Employer?

You don't have to tell your employer about your divorce. However, it can be a good idea to let them know, as you might need to take additional time off to see your lawyer, or to attend mediation or court appointments.

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Useful Links

  • Guide To The Divorce Process
    Answers to the common questions we get asked about the divorce process - from the grounds you can use to divorce your partner, to the likely cost.
  • Child Arrangements Following Divorce
    Find out more about how to agree the custody, access and maintenance arrangements for your children.
  • Out Of Court Divorce
    Agreeing your divorce out of court can be cheaper, quicker and less stressful. Find out more about the out of court divorce processes: mediation, collaborative divorce and arbitration.
  • Divorce & Your Finances
    Detailed information about the impact on your income, home, property, pension and business following divorce.
  • Make A Will
    Once you’re divorced you should review your Will. Visit our Wills page for information on making a new Will, or changing an existing one.

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