“Life wasn’t worth living without my leg.” Says Molly, who underwent an above-the-knee amputation after delays in her medical care.
Coming to terms with her life-changing surgery was difficult. Molly was discharged from hospital to her parents’ care. Unable to walk upstairs, she was confined to sleeping, eating and washing in the living room. During this time, Molly struggled with her mental health.
But shortly after her surgery, she met Daniel.
Navigating life after injury or illness can put a strain on any relationship, so we sat down with Molly to find out how she and Daniel have worked through the challenges.
When you’re going through particularly challenging times with Daniel, what do you think helps you see things from the other person’s perspective?
Molly: “I really try to put myself in his shoes because he not only helps me, I help him. He struggles with mental health; he has PTSD so we both bounce off of each other and try to make light of the situation. It helps that we both have dark senses of humour, we bully each other, playfully of course. Since I lost my leg, I’ve told myself that you’ve got to laugh about it, you’ve got to make light of a horrible situation. You’re either going to let it live your life for you or you live the life you want, and I choose the latter.
What keeps you calm during those days where you’re really feeling that toll on your mental health and you can see it affecting your relationship?
Molly: Strangely, me and Daniel never argue, there are never any raised voices. We’ve always had this mentality of, ‘let’s sit down together and talk through it together.’ We know communication is so important. If we can see things are really getting heated, I tend to leave the room just so we can give each other some space so we don’t say anything in anger that we might regret later. Believe it or not, even with one leg, I do storm off. That or I wheel off. We both know that whatever hard time we’re going through, it’s not going to be forever. You’ve just got to realise you’re not going through it alone and I know Daniel is in it for the long haul.
How would you say you both lean on each other those tougher days?
Molly: I remember Michelle Obama saying, “No marriage is 50/50, some days, you’ll give 70, they give 30 but it’s rarely a clean, 50/50 split” and that’s very true. Some days I give 90% and Daniel gives 10% but we always help each other regardless. I’m still struggling to come to terms with losing my leg. I’m not sure I ever fully will, but Daniel is always there to reassure me. Some days I don’t feel like how a woman should feel, I look in the mirror and I don’t like what I see, but Daniel is always there to remind me that I’m beautiful and I am who I am.
I always hold onto the fact that he fell in love with me without my leg. He’s only ever known me as I am now, and it's never been an issue for him. That’s something I’d want other people to know as well – if I can get through what I went through, often feeling like my quality of life would never really improve, anyone can thrive, whatever they’ve experienced.
It’s a beautiful love story you guys have. Do you ever find yourself in disbelief of the timing of it all?
Molly: Absolutely. I never thought I’d meet someone so soon after losing my leg, when I was at my absolute rock bottom. Daniel saved my life. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be here anymore. He picked me up physically and mentally, he’s there for it all and does everything for me. We came together as a couple against all odds. My ex-partner had only just left me after texting when I was in the hospital to say he didn’t want a disabled girlfriend.
The day I met Daniel I hadn’t wanted to leave the house. My friend made me and I met Daniel. I remember after meeting him, I turned to my friend and I said, “I’m going to marry that man one day”. As it turns out, I was right. I believe I manifested him.
Are there any particular things Daniel does, no matter big or small, that really help to support you?
Molly: It’s something so small to him, but to me it means the world – he puts my leggings over my false leg every day because I struggle with it. He changes my shoes from Converse or Crocs to heels for me, and he does it all without a care in the world. I just look at him and I think, ‘You didn’t sign up to this, but you’re here and you’re helping me,’ and that means the world.
When Daniel’s at home he takes the washing out and does the cleaning up. He won’t let me cook. That’s probably more to do with the fact that I’m a terrible cook and he doesn’t want to subject himself to my food, but still. It means everything to me. I’ve never heard him sigh, or moan, he just does it and I love him for that.
What do you do to bolster Daniel up when he’s having a bad day?
Molly: He said to my mum, “I help Molly physically, but she helps me mentally and nobody sees that.” When he’s having a PTSD episode, I talk to him. I put my arms around him and let him know I’m here for him. To him that means everything but to me, I’m just comforting my husband, I want to be that anchor for him. No matter what happens to him, I’ll always be there for him.
I understand some men find it harder to express their emotions, so it’s important to me that Daniel knows he has someone he can talk to and lean on. He’s been through a lot, and it takes a real man to express his emotions, be himself and show his partner how he’s feeling, and he does that. It makes me respect and love him more. I love that he feels safe enough with me to express those feelings and I’m glad I can be that emotional support for him.
Are there any real milestones in your relationship that really stand out to you?
Molly: When I married him. Daniel proposed after five months of being together. After getting permission from my mum and dad of course. A lot of people didn’t think we were going to last because we moved so quickly.
Daniel proves me every day just how much I mean to him. He works a seventy-hour week to provide for us, and our little cat of course. I want him to know how proud I am of him. My mum always says, he looks at me like my dad looks at my mum after thirty-three years together. My parents definitely set the bar for me when it comes to relationships and the kind of love I was always going to strive for. I just can’t believe I’ve actually managed to find a man as amazing as Daniel.
I’m aware our love story is special. I lost something that was irreplaceable, but I gained something so much bigger and better in the love Daniel and I have for one another.
You can find out more about Molly’s story here.
“It’s amazing to see how Molly’s doing now and to hear of the progress that she’s making. I know that she works very very hard. The achievement that she’s making along the way, make my job worthwhile.”
Ashlee Coates - Medical Negligence Associate Solicitor
Edition 5 - Summer 2025
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