When personal experience shapes professional empathy

Alongside that grief came responsibility: navigating practical matters, making decisions, and taking on caring roles at a time when emotional capacity is often at its lowest.

It is an experience that has changed me, not only as a person but fundamentally as a lawyer.

When working with families, we speak frequently about planning whether it is about structures, tax efficiency, asset protection or succession. These are, of course, critical. But what personal loss has brought into much sharper focus for me is that behind every structure, every piece of advice, and every decision, there are people, families, all often going through some of the most difficult moments of their lives.

I now understand far more deeply what many of our clients are experiencing when they come to us.

For some, they are grieving. For others, they are caring for loved ones or stepping into new roles of responsibility they may not feel ready for. Many are trying to make decisions whilst overwhelmed, both emotionally and practically. Even for those planning ahead, there is often an undercurrent of concern: how do I protect what I have built? How do I look after the people I love? What happens if something happens to me?

We often describe wealth in technical terms, including assets, portfolios and structures. But in reality, it represents something much more human. It reflects years, sometimes generations of hard work, sacrifice, and care. It is intertwined with family relationships, values, and aspirations.

And sometimes, that wealth comes with emotional complexity, particularly where it has been inherited. It can sit alongside grief, responsibility, and a desire to honour what has been passed down. From the outside, it can be easy for people to simply see that someone has “inherited” and assume that financial security resolves everything. But the reality is often very different. Money and assets, however significant, are not a substitute for support, for family, or for the people who are no longer there. Those human aspects matter just as much, if not more.

What this has taught me is that good legal advice, while essential, is not always enough on its own.

Clients do not just need technical expertise. They need understanding. They need space to process. They need someone who recognises that decisions are not being made in a vacuum, but in the context of family dynamics, personal histories, and often significant emotional strain.

As lawyers, we are in a unique position to help carry some of that load.

Part of our role is to simplify complexity and to guide clients through decisions that can otherwise feel overwhelming. But equally important is ensuring they are supported by the right team and not just “advised”.

I am proud to work for a firm where these considerations aren’t treated as an afterthought but are genuinely part of how we support our clients. Alongside the technical expertise and strategic guidance we offer our clients, we also make sure they are fully supported – whether through coaching or counselling (or just making the time to be there for them). My colleague, Joanna Gosling a mediator and former journalist, brings a calm reflective approach helping our clients step back, think clearly and focus on what really matters to them. We also work with clients together with our inhouse counsellor, so clients are fully emotionally supported when they need it most.

If there is one thing this experience has reinforced, it is that we never fully know what someone else is going through. The meeting in the diary, the documents on the table, these are only part of the story.

Behind them may be loss, uncertainty, or quiet resilience. And so, the way we advise matters.

Taking time to listen matters. Understanding a client’s broader context, their family, their concerns, their hopes for the future matters just as much as the structures we put in place.

Planning, at its best, is not just about protecting assets. It is about protecting people.

If this resonates, it may be worth taking the time to consider whether the plans you have in place truly reflect what matters most to you and your family. Speaking to a specialist in our Private Client team can help provide clarity and support at what can often be a difficult time.