The Strain on Relationships from Traumatic Brain Injury, and what to Consider if you’re thinking about Divorce
Traumatic brain injury (TBI) can have profound effects on individuals and their relationships. The changes that occur after a TBI can be challenging for both the survivor and their loved ones, often leading to significant strain on relationships. This article explores the various ways in which TBI can impact relationships, offers insights into managing these challenges and sets out considerations for those considering marriage or divorce where they have a TBI.
Emotional and Behavioural Changes
Often, one of the most immediate and noticeable effects of TBI is the change in the survivor’s emotional and behavioural patterns. These changes can include increased irritability, mood swings, depression, and anxiety. Such shifts can be difficult for partners to navigate, as they may feel like they are living with a different person. The survivor’s altered behaviour can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and emotional distance within the relationship.
Changes in Roles and Responsibilities
After a TBI, the dynamics of a relationship often shift dramatically. The survivor may no longer be able to fulfil their previous roles and responsibilities, leading to an imbalance in the relationship. For instance, a partner who was once an equal contributor may now require constant care and support. This shift can place a significant burden on the other partner, who may struggle with the dual roles of caregiver and spouse.
Communication Challenges
Effective communication is crucial in any relationship, but TBI can severely impact a survivor’s ability to communicate. Cognitive impairments, such as difficulties with attention, memory, and language, can make it hard for the survivor to express themselves clearly. This can lead to frequent misunderstandings and frustration for both partners. Additionally, the survivor may have trouble understanding social cues, which can further complicate interactions.
Physical Intimacy and Sexual Relationships
TBI can also affect physical intimacy and sexual relationships. Changes in physical abilities, fatigue, and emotional disconnection can reduce the frequency and quality of intimate interactions. Partners may feel rejected or disconnected, leading to further strain on the relationship. It is important for couples to communicate openly about their needs and seek professional help if necessary to navigate these changes.
Financial Strain
The financial impact of TBI can be significant, adding another layer of stress to relationships. Medical bills, rehabilitation costs, and potential loss of income can create financial pressure. This strain can lead to arguments and increased tension between partners, especially if one partner feels overwhelmed by the financial responsibilities.
Coping Strategies and Support
Despite the challenges, there are ways to manage the strain on relationships caused by TBI. Seeking professional help, such as therapy or counselling, can provide valuable support for both partners. Therapists can help couples develop effective communication strategies, manage emotional stress, and navigate changes in their relationship dynamics.
Support groups can also be beneficial, offering a space for both survivors and their partners to share experiences and gain insights from others facing similar challenges. These groups can provide emotional support and practical advice, helping couples feel less isolated in their journey.
The Impact on Children
The response of a child to a parent's brain injury can be influenced by factors such as age, temperament, the pre-injury relationship, and the nature of the parent's injury. In some cases, the bond between parent and child may become stronger. With the right support, children can also play a role in their parent's recovery. However, it's not uncommon for children to feel distant and confused, potentially increasing the childcare burden on the uninjured parent.
Building Resilience
While TBI can strain relationships, it can also provide an opportunity for growth and resilience. Couples who navigate these challenges together often develop a deeper understanding and appreciation for each other. By focusing on the positive aspects of their relationship and celebrating small victories, couples can strengthen their bond and build a more resilient partnership.
Divorce in England and Wales
In some cases, the strain from TBI may lead to the difficult decision to divorce. In England and Wales, divorce is governed by the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020, which allows couples to divorce on the grounds that the marriage has irretrievably broken down without needing to prove fault or separation. To apply for a divorce, couples must have been married for at least one year and meet certain residency requirements. The process involves several steps, including applying for a conditional order (formerly known as a decree nisi) and a final order (formerly known as a decree absolute).
Personal Injury Damages in Divorce Settlements
Alongside divorce, separating spouses will have to deal with their financial separation. Personal injury damages may be payable if the TBI has come about due to the fault of someone or something else. The family court has wide discretion in determining the division of assets upon divorce and will consider all circumstances of the case, including any personal injury compensation received by either party. This means that personal injury damages are not automatically protected and can be subject to division. Therefore, it is crucial to seek early family law advice if you may receive such damages, or have already received them, and such advice should be taken whether you are entering or leaving a relationship. Early legal advice can help you understand how these damages might be treated in a divorce and what protective measures can be taken to safeguard your financial interests.
Non-Court Dispute Resolution
Financial separation, or arrangements for any children of the family, whilst difficult, do not have to lead to individuals becoming involved in protracted, costly and emotional court proceedings. For couples seeking to avoid the stress and expense of court proceedings, non-court dispute resolution (NCDR) methods are available. These methods include mediation, arbitration, and collaborative law. Mediation involves a neutral third party helping the couple reach an agreement on various issues, such as financial matters and child arrangements. Arbitration allows a neutral arbitrator to make binding decisions on disputes, while collaborative law involves both parties and their lawyers working together to reach a settlement.
The Family Court in England and Wales encourages the use of NCDR at every stage of proceedings. In fact, before making certain applications to the court, couples are required to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) to explore the possibility of resolving their disputes through mediation. Recent changes to the rules have strengthened the position of NCDR, making it harder for couples to avoid these alternatives and emphasising their importance in resolving disputes amicably.
Conclusion
Traumatic brain injury can place significant strain on relationships, affecting emotional and behavioural dynamics, communication, physical intimacy, and financial stability. However, with the right support and coping strategies, couples can navigate these challenges and emerge stronger. Seeking professional help, joining support groups, and focusing on resilience can help couples maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship despite the difficulties posed by TBI. For those who decide to divorce, understanding the process and exploring non-court dispute resolution options can help minimise stress and conflict. Additionally, considering the implications of personal injury damages in divorce settlements and seeking early family law advice can protect your financial interests.
Partner in the Family team, Jennifer Pollock, commented on Irwin Mitchell’s specialism in this field:
“Acting for a client with a traumatic brain injury requires not only a deep understanding of their physical and emotional challenges but also a commitment to ensuring their voice is heard, despite any barriers they may face. At Irwin Mitchell, our specialists are dedicated to supporting vulnerable clients through the complexities of the legal process, adapting to meet their unique needs. We ensure that those whose reality has been altered by trauma are treated with fairness, dignity, and respect, guiding them with expertise and compassion every step of the way.”
Irwin Mitchell has one of the largest personal injury teams in the country, with many technical specialists in the field of traumatic brain injuries. Tessa Craythorne, solicitor in the team, has co-written this article and is always happy to speak to individuals who believe they have suffered an injury due to negligence. Additional information and resources for those impacted by brain injury is available through Headway – the brain injury association (Headway - the brain injury association | Headway)
Irwin Mitchell’s family law team is the largest national team in the country, with a specialist set of lawyers who focus on family law considerations for individuals who have a personal injury claim. Taler Kelly, solicitor in the team, has co-written this article and is always happy to speak to individuals at any stage. As noted above, family law advice should be taken ideally before a relationship is entered into, particularly where there are personal injury damages on the horizon (or before those damages are received), and certainly where they have been received. Likewise, advice should be taken when an individual is considering separation.
